TRIGGER WARNING:
If you have not been paying attention, the news is dominated by sex crimes against women and children. Two weeks ago, details of an alleged gang rape at Cornell University were reported. Seven men reportedly raped a female student and not one of the additional 50 men on a group text did anything to stop it as they watched it unfold in real time. Justice has also not been served for the children assaulted in the Epstein files. The real tragedy is that sexual assault happens every 74 seconds in the US and out of every 1,000 sexual assaults, about 31% are reported to police and fewer than 1% end in a felony conviction.
“So, what does this have to do with yoga?” You might be asking.
I’m about to tell you.
The first two limbs of yoga’s Eight Limbed Path outlined in the Yoga Sutras are the Yamas and Niyamas. In western culture, yoga has been reduced to Asana, the physical practice, the third limb out of eight.
Four out of the five of the Yamas and three of the five Niyamas are violated in almost all sexual assaults.
Ahimsa: sexual assault is always an act of violence.
Satya: sexual abuse includes manipulation and denial by the perpetrator.
Asteya: the perpetrator is stealing what is not given freely.
Brahmacharya: an abusive use of sexual energy towards another while violating the victim’s sexual energy.
Saucha: not respecting the purity of body and mind.
Tapas: the perpetrator acts without self-discipline or restraint.
Svadhyaya: the lack of self-study to understand and heal parts of the self that commit acts of sexual violence.
As a four-year-old, I remember being chased around my church by a creepy old man calling me his girlfriend. As a teen and young adult I was over served and manipulated. In college, a man tried to break into my apartment, and it was my quick response that had him run away while I dialed 911. I have had men (yes multiple) drive by me on the street while masturbating in their cars. I’ve been objectified and also labeled as a bitch for being assertive in the workplace.
I have had to intervein when a male student commented on the looks of one of the teen girls who worked at the studio and said his teen son would love her. Married men have propositioned female teachers. Two of my female teachers have been stalked my male students. The list goes on and on…
I do not know a women alive who has not been trained in the arts of NOT getting sexually assaulted, and still it is reported that 1 in 2 women experience some type of sexual abuse, this is not counting boys and men who are also assaulted.
I am assuming if you have gotten to this point of the article and not yet closed this email you are probably having some type of reaction. This content is not easy to digest. I acknowledge your courage to read on.
It may occur that I am pointing the finger at just men, they are responsible for over 90% of all sex crimes. However, we are all culpable of participating in the culture that has allowed this behavior to thrive. Like water is to the fish, we don’t know anything different and have been blind to the pathology or resigned that anything will change.
We have all: Slut shamed. Excused behavior with everyday colloquialisms; boys will be boys, men have needs, its locker-room talk, she was asking for it. Laughed at off colored jokes and victim blamed. Prioritized the perpetrators future over concern for the victims. Empowered perpetrators into positions of power.
Sexual violence requires years of therapy to heal from the trauma and even then, the victims will never be able to undo what was done to them.
This email is a call to action. Each of us must examine how we contribute to the culture of misogamy and sexual violence if we are to make the changes needed to create equality and safety for women and children. Yoga is not passive. To practice it fully, we must embody the Yamas and Niyamas, stand against injustice, fight for and defend the marginalized, and live the words of Gandhi: “Be the change we want to see in the world.”
-Debi Grilo
Yamas (restraints)
Ahimsa (non-harm): avoiding violence in action, word and thought, toward others and yourself. Patanjali treats it as the root principle the others serve.
Satya (truthfulness): honesty in speech and conduct, tempered by ahimsa, so truth isn’t used as a weapon.
Asteya (non-stealing): not taking what isn’t freely given. This includes credit, time and attention, and it extends to letting go of envy.
Brahmacharya (wise use of energy): traditionally celibacy. It is often read today as moderation and not squandering vital energy, especially sexual energy.
Aparigraha (non-grasping): not hoarding or clinging to possessions, people or outcomes.
Niyamas (observances)
Saucha (cleanliness): purity of body, surroundings and mind.
Santosha (contentment): accepting what is, rather than depending on circumstances to feel at peace.
Tapas (discipline): sustained effort that “burns off” impurities. The word literally means heat.
Svadhyaya (self-study): studying sacred texts and reflecting on yourself, coming to know your own patterns.
Ishvara pranidhana (surrender to a higher power): devotion, or letting go of the ego’s need to control the results of your actions.